Jonah Sux

Jonah Hex is like someone took Wild Wild West and sucked out all the fun and giant robot spiders.

Jonah's family gets killed by Quinton Turnbull and Jonah gets disfigured and left for dead in the process. He's saved by some Indians who bring him back from the dead and he picks up a couple powers while his soul returns to the land of the living. With the power to bring the dead back to life with a touch, he now roams the land as a bounty hunter and waits for his chance at revenge. He gets his chance when Turnbull starts robbing military outposts and assembling a giant weapon he plans to use to blow up Washington D.C., and it's up to Jonah to stop him.

I rented this movie thinking, "Cowboys, gunfights, Megan Fox, explosions -- what's not to like?" Turns out a lot.

It was like there just wasn't enough meat to the story, not enough detail to make me care. It felt weighed down by useless cell animated sequences and weird, pointless dream scenes.

Josh Brolin (Grindhouse, No Country For Old Men, W.) is Jonah Hex and his performance is dry and tasteless. Megan Fox (Transformers, Jennifer's Body) plays Lilah the whore, who is supposed to be a love interest, but she doesn't do much and isn't even satisfying eye candy. John Malkovich (Red, Being John Malkovich) isn't insane enough to be amusing as Turnbull and Will Arnett is woefully underused as Lieutenant Grass.

Seriously, Wild Wild West was better.

2.5 stars