A Double Feature In Three Dimensions

Little known fact: any two movies at the theater can be a double feature as long as you sneak into one of them.



Tangled is the story of Rapunzel... sort of. Rapunzel (voiced by Mandy Moore) has lived her entire life in a secret tower, and her only friends are her pet chameleon and Mother Gothel, a woman Rapunzel believes is her mother, but is a mean bitch who has kept the girl hidden away because of the healing powers her hair possesses. Her curiosity gets the better of her when she meets Flynn, a robber on the run from the law, together they venture to the kingdom to see the floating lights that appear every year on her birthday.

The movie is very entertaining, especially the chameleon and the palace guard horse that tracks the lead characters like a bloodhound (not a metaphor.)

The songs are completely forgettable, and I am being literal: I cannot remember a single lyric from any one of the songs. They aren't even long enough to be considered real songs, it's like the music guy at Disney realized he'd forgotten to write any songs before the thing went into production and so he jotted the lyrics down on a napkin during a twenty-minute lunch break.

Disney finally proves that it is still in the fucking game when it comes to animation. For many long years, anything Disney did kind of got steam-rolled under the mighty Pixar machine, and while Tangled isn't quite as good as Wall-E or Toy Story, it is miles above some of the direct-to-DVD schlock Disney has been pumping out like toxic sludge. For once the 3D actually enhanced the quality, embedding the watcher in the scenery instead of just presenting it.

The cast was par, as in not sub-par, except Zachery Levi (Chuck), who voiced Flynn, he brought the comedy up to another level. His every line had me giggling, his timing and delivery are priceless.

Tangled gets 3.8 stars.

Up next is Megamind.

Megamind (Will Ferrell, Elf, Anchorman, SNL) is an alien who was sent to Earth as a baby when his planet was blown into chunks. Unfortunately his spaceship lands, not in Kansas, but in a prison, and the inmates raise him to be a villain. He does the usual evil-doer things, has a lair, a Minion (David Cross, Year One, Kung Fu Panda)and his enemy, superhero Megaman (voiced by Brad Pitt, Ocean's 11-13.) When Megamind destroys Megaman, what will he do? How will his life change? When he looks in the mirror will he like the giant blue head that stares back at him?

I love any movie that lets you peek behind the cape and get a look at the real person and their life, whether it is Megamind or Watchmen or... well, I guess it is really only the two, but still, it is incredibly interesting to see how these people tick.

The awkward social mess that Will Ferrell usually lends itself very well to this animated caper. If it had been live action and he had been playing some kind of football star, I am sure I would have been throwing things at the screen, but as an animated super villain with a giant blue head, he had me laughing.

Tina Fey, who plays the love interest Roxanne Ricthi, is freaking hilarious. I cannot say that enough, she is freaking hilarious.

In fact, they are all freaking hilarious: Jonah Jill, David Cross, all of them except Brad Pitt. Maybe his character wasn't meant to be funny, maybe it just wasn't great writing, or maybe it was just bad acting; either way it felt like Brad phoned it in a little with that one.

The animation is good, not great, but better than most of the other animated movies Dreamworks spits out. The 3D didn't really add anything to it, but seeing as how I didn't pay for my ticket, I'll let that slide.

Megamind gets 3.6 stars

Land Of The Lost wasn't lost on me.

Rather than explain the plot of Land of The Lost, I will just post a YouTube clip of the original TV show.


In my review of The Other Guys, I gave Will Ferrell a thorough verbal smacking, and today I have come with a fork and knife to eat my words. In Land of The Lost, Will Ferrell is hysterical. He is kind of doing his same old schtick, but in this setting it works.

Will Ferrell plays shamed scientist, Rick Marshall.

Danny McBride (Tropic Thunder, Pineapple Express) plays Will, the redneck owner of a failing tourist attraction.

Anna Friel (the dead girl from Pushing Daisies) plays Marshall's assistant, Holly.

And lastly Jorma Taccone (who hasn't done any notable acting before) plays the monkey creature Chaka.

This movie floundered in theaters -- I only really rented it because I dug the aesthetic.

How can anyone resist seeing the Golden Gate Bridge half buried while Big Ben leans in the background like a drunk uncle at a baseball game? I was not disappointed: collapsing drive-ins, Cadillacs sticking out of the ground like freshly grown sunflowers, and a storefront that is literally just the front of a store. The look of the movie is pretty impressive.

Danny and Will ad-lib a lot and it was probably an improvement on the script. I can't tell if Anna does any improv and Jarme does nothing but grunt and bob around, but both are still good companions for Danny and Will.

The Lizard people (I think they are called Sleestacks) look fake, the dinosaurs look real, and an ice cream man gets eaten. I seriously can't figure out why this movie flopped: it is by no means what one might call "high brow," but neither is it a pile of shit like Gigli.

It is a good rent.

3.5 stars.

The Other Guys Cop Out

Here is recipe for an average Will Ferrell movie.

1. Get Will Ferrell.
2. Give him a wacky character.
3. Give his wacky character a job.
4. Add water and stir until done.

I loved Anchorman as much as everyone else, but at this point, I think Ferrell is just beating the dead horse in an attempt to restart its heart.

The story is about two desk jockey cops, one itching to bust heads, the other contentedly crunching numbers. By sheer accident, they stumble onto a Ponzi scheme which leads to explosions and gun fights, as Ponzi schemes tend to do.

Micheal Keaton plays the police captain who often quotes TLC lyrics.

Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson play the kick-ass Die-Hard-style cops who often wreck vintage sports cars, but their bit in the movie is minuscule at best.

There is the usual bunch of guys who you have seen a half dozen times in every Will Ferrell or Vince Vaughn movie but still can't remember their names.

Mark Wahlberg, in a surprising move, plays the cop who is itching to bust heads.

And Ferrell is the eccentric but quiet accountant who would rather crunch numbers than shoot bad guys.

The movie tries hard but falls flat. It's everything we saw in Anchorman, Talladega Nights and Semi-Pro, so maybe if you haven't seen all these movies, you might think The Other Guys is a fucking laugh riot.

Wahlberg drives the plot forward with the grace of a drunken truck driver, but in his defense, he is pretty funny with how serious he is and some of his insults I have made a mental note to use when I want to get in a bar fight ("When your piss hits the urinal, it sounds feminine.") But it isn't enough to save the movie.

The only other bright spot was Steve Coogan (Tropic Thunder), who played the villain. Maybe it's just because he is British, but he came across as charming, befuddled, and is the only guy in the whole movie who made me chuckle.

Other than Wahlberg, Coogan and Ferrell's tired A game, the movie has nothing going for it, nothing. The other characters aren't funny, the action is pretty tame (except that bit with the golfers, that was freakin' sweet), and the guy who invented the cop genre once again spins in his grave.

If you want to see a good police comedy, get Cop Out, it's on DVD.



This movie was widely panned by critics, but I ask you, what Kevin Smith wasn't? I also ask you, what Kevin Smith movie isn't completely awesome? That is a trick question because THEY ARE ALL COMPLETELY AWESOME.

Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan play a couple of detectives trying to get a baseball card back.

That right there sets it apart. Name one cop flick where the characters don't accidentally blunder into some huge case. THEY ALL DO. Not these guys, though, they are just trying to get a baseball card back. (Okay, so maybe along the way they blunder into a big case, but they are still trying to get the card.)

Tracy Morgan is freaking hilarious and Willis makes a great straight man while still doing his whole bad-ass-with-a-heart-of-gold thing.

Laughs, action, and a little kid getting punched in the dick make Cop Out way better than The Other Guys.

Cop Out gets a 5 star accommodation.
The Other Guys gets busted down to parade duty and made to clean horse shit.